the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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