You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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