can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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