real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
