My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
