if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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