apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize