Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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