that's an acceptable place to lick
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize