I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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