I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
