I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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