yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
