I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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