if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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