Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Dignity is for republicans.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize