Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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