Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
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