Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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