Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
