I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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