It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
