do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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