I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
