Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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