I got chris browned last night
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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