uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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