I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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