Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
