So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Houston, we have a squirter
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We're using joints as your birthday candles
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
