matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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