Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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