It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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