i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
