I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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