His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize