scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
