Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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