Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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