And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
