This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
