just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
