I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
