the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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