sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
