I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Say something about gay babies.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
