I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
