): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
