You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
