I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
