we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
