He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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