i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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