he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
