you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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