hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
