sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
What drink are we having for lunch?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
